


A Moment of Truth

by blue_pointer



Series: A Glorious Retelling [58]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Big Gay Dad Energy, Canon Timeline, Crying, Devo'ssa - Freeform, Don't copy to another site, Draconic - Freeform, Episode: c01e069 Passed Through Fire, Fluff and Smut, Grumpy Raishan is grumpy, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marquet, Metallic Dragon!Gilmore, Minor Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III/Vex'ahlia, Minor Shaun Gilmore/J'mon Sa Ord, Minor Shaun Gilmore/Vax'ildan, Morning Sex, POV Shaun Gilmore, Pillow Talk, Polyamory Negotiations, References to Macbeth, Secrets, Therapy, Trust, conversations in Marquesian, j'mon sa ord - Freeform, spilling tea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:22:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29366196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_pointer/pseuds/blue_pointer
Summary: When Gilmore plays therapist to Vex’ahlia, she has more shocking things to confess than her love for Percy.
Relationships: Shaun Gilmore & Vex'ahlia, Shaun Gilmore/Jarett Howarth
Series: A Glorious Retelling [58]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1975831
Comments: 6
Kudos: 16





	A Moment of Truth

The next morning, Jarett woke Gilmore with a lovely surprise. He checked to see if Vax’ildan was there, first, of course. But Vax seemed to have left long before. So Gilmore accepted Jarett’s gift without guilt. What a lovely way to begin the day. 

In fact, Jarett wanted to continue, but Gilmore gently held him at arm’s length, chuckling. _“Shouldn’t you be getting back to your post before you’re missed?”_

Jarett groaned. _“Don’t remind me. The unworthy dog has ordered me to raise his pup to be a warrior.”_

 _“Yes. About that…”_ Gilmore drew Jarett in close again. _“Who is this boy? Do you know where he came from?”_

 _“Ah, you do not know this story. Then allow me to…”_ He seemed to get distracted sucking on Gilmore’s earlobe for a moment. 

Gilmore laughed. _“J’arett!”_

 _“Ah yes. My apologies.”_ He raised Gilmore’s hand to his lips and kissed his fingers instead. _“You see, it was back...perhaps months ago, this young boy comes to Greyskull Keep and demands an audience with Vax’ildan the Rogue of Vox Machina.”_

_“An audience?”_

_“You see our source of amusement. He refused to leave, even setting up a tent to await eagerly the heroes’ return from their latest adventure.”_

_“A fanatic, then.”_ Gilmore hadn’t known Vox Machina had fanatics. Though, of course, if any of them had, it would be his Vax’ildan. 

_“Just so. And after waiting days, cooking food over a campfire when we offered to feed him...the heroes return and just…”_ He made a dismissive gesture. 

Gilmore gasped. _“No! But that’s so heartless.”_

Jarett smiled. _“It gets worse. So as soon as the dog hears the boy wants to be just like him, he tells him ‘absolutely not,’ and kills him with the butt of his dagger.”_

Gilmore just stared. _“He did not.”_

Jarett nodded. _“He did. Dropped the boy like a stone!”_ He laughed heartily. _“We had a betting pool for what they would do with the boy, but everyone lost! No one had guessed they would kill him.”_

_“But...how did he?”_

_“Of course he felt immediately guilty and gave the boy a potion or something to bring him back. And then offered a weak apology, but the boy was finished then. He left in tears, and that was that.”_

_“By the Soul. No wonder he sought out their enemies.”_

Jarett nodded. _“Indeed.”_

 _“So you think this sense of ownership he has over the boy now is out of some sense of guilt?”_ Gilmore asked.

_“If he has any conscience, yes. But I have yet to see--”_

Gilmore poked him. _“Stop it. You two are so mean to one another.”_

 _“And yet, we sleep in the same bed for your sake. What does that tell you?”_ Jarett leaned in for another round of kissing and sucking. 

Gilmore grinned. _“It tells me I’m very lucky to have both of you.”_

Jarett looked up and made a face. _“But not at the same time, my lord.”_

 _“Very well. Only for sleeping.”_ Gilmore traced a finger along Jarett’s jawline. _“But what if I did ask that?”_

_“You test me, my lord.”_

Gilmore kissed him long and slow. _“I do.”_

Jarett growled softly. _“So long as you are between us, and he does not touch me or interfere…”_

 _“Oh, J’arett,”_ Gilmore sighed. _“You’re so obedient.”_ He turned and offered Jarett his good side, casting a ‘come hither’ look over his shoulder. 

_“Only for you, my lord,”_ Jarett said, gripping his hips and kissing Gilmore’s shoulder before resuming their previous activity. 

It was close to noon by the time they finally disentangled their limbs and Gilmore sent Jarett back to the barracks, if only temporarily. Still in a good mood, Gilmore leisurely went about preparing for the day. He had just finished his bath when he felt a hostile presence enter his home. 

Gilmore walked out to find Raishan in her Assum disguise, sitting at the table in his bedroom. _“This is all your fault,”_ she hissed in Draconic, when Gilmore came in. _“It went exactly as I knew it would!”_

Gilmore gave her a slow blink. _“You seem to be...alive.”_

 _“For now!”_ she snarled. _“Trust me, there was much debate about this just now. Followed by a long litany of threats from the druid.”_

 _“Keyleth?”_ That was curious. _“She’s not one to lecture or threaten, usually.”_

_“She seems to think I committed genocide on her race.”_

_“Well. Did you?”_ It was a fair question.

 _“Of course not!”_ Raishan glared at him. _“I lived with the Fire Ashari for years! They accepted me as one of their own! Would I repay that with genocide?”_

Gilmore looked at her quietly. _“Would you?”_

_“No, damn you! I happened to LIKE them!”_

_“Well, then what happened?”_ he asked.

_“Thordak, of course!”_

_“Ah.”_ So she was not without guilt, then. 

_“Of course, I felt terrible! I didn’t know he was going to kill so many of them! But what was I to do? Leave him stranded in the fire plane, just in case?_ **_I_ ** _can’t control him. If I could, none of this would be necessary.”_

 _“Well, it sounds like a tragedy that might have been avoided…”_ Honestly, it sounded like Raishan was feeling defensive because she knew it had been her fault. And she had regrets. Interesting. “... _but you can’t expect someone so young to understand your perspective.”_

_“Not being threatened with death would have been nice.”_

_“I could have told you to expect at least some of that.”_ Mortals tended to react with anger and harsh words when they were afraid. 

_“They are plotting to kill me even now,”_ she grumped. 

_“But did they agree to an accord?”_

_“They_ **_seemed_ ** _to. You’ll be the first one to know if they betray me.”_ Her gaze was quite threatening. 

_“Well, I call that a success.”_ Gilmore refused to be threatened. _“Tea?”_

_“No, I don’t want your damned tea. I have to contact Thordak now, so he thinks I’m still in Kymal while we travel to Wildemount.”_

Gilmore turned back, surprised. _“What, now?”_ He hadn’t even gotten to speak with his Vax’ildan, much less check in with Percival or Vex’ahlia or receive his promised visit from Grog. 

“‘If it were done when ‘tis done, then ‘twere well it were done quickly,’” she said in Common, quoting the famous play that must not be named. 

_“But you know this will be the beginning, not the end,”_ Gilmore said. And why the rush to bring on calamity? Or had that been the idea behind her quotation choice?

 _“It’s Vorugal or me, at this point. I blame you for that,”_ she said. _“The longer they have to think about it, the more danger to me. What do I care if the war begins tomorrow or next week? The sooner Thordak dies, the better.”_

Gilmore sighed. He was still so tired. Couldn’t the end of the world wait a little bit longer? Gilmore rubbed his forehead. Why was the flow of time always like this? Centuries would drag on and on, and then suddenly months would zip by faster than minutes. And always in violence. 

_“Vorugal falls tomorrow,”_ she told him. _“After that, be ready to defend me. Remember, if I go, you go. And don’t think I won’t tell them what you really are when they come for me.”_

A truly unpleasant thought. But they’d made a bargain. _“I won’t let them hurt you. You’re safe so long as you’re in Whitestone.”_

 _“Control your ants. Or I won’t be held responsible for what happens to them.”_ And with that, she was gone. 

Gilmore sighed. “Shit.” He could try, but getting Vox Machina to do anything was like herding cats. He gave himself a break and had some tea first before heading up the hill to the castle. The children were not in the dining hall, so he checked the inner courtyard to see if they were perhaps testing out their new trinkets. Not there, either. Before he went upstairs and looked in their rooms, Gilmore decided to check the library. He found Vex’ahlia and Percival just on their way out, acting rather strangely. They were practically stuck in the doorway, both rushing to leave the room at once. 

“Percival! Vex’ahlia! Just the two people I was looking for.” Not precisely, but they would do. 

Percy seemed quite distracted, and only just glanced at Gilmore. “Apologies. I’m in a bit of a rush, just now.” He had a large tome tucked under one arm, and began to walk past Gilmore. 

“What, no hug?” Gilmore stepped sideways to block Percival’s path. 

“What? Oh…” Percy looked very awkward for a moment and then, like a rusty robot-man, shuffled toward Gilmore and bent at the waist to offer a clumsy sideward half-hug. Gilmore wrapped both arms around him and pulled Percival into a proper hug. 

“There you are, see? That didn’t kill you.” Then he let Percy go, smoothing Percival’s hair before he was out of range. With an unintelligible noise, Percy dashed away toward the stairs to his workshop. 

When Gilmore glanced over at Vex, she was smiling. “You certainly have a way with him.” 

Gilmore smiled. “So do you!” 

She blushed, glancing down at the floor. “Well...you know, that reminds me. I’ve been meaning to speak with you.” Vex looked up, her expression more serious. 

“Fabulous! I’ve been meaning to speak with you.” He motioned toward the library behind her. “Shall we?” 

“Yes, let’s.” She took his arm and they walked together toward a small seating group near the fireplace. Trinket, in his infinite wisdom, had not left the fireside. Perhaps he’d known she’d be back. Gilmore waited for Vex to sit before doing so himself in the chair opposite. 

“So. What is it you wanted to speak with me about, my dear?” Sensing their proximity to the fire, Lockheed crawled out of Gilmore’s collar and flew over to land on the hearth. 

“Oh, Lockheed!” she exclaimed. 

“Ah, yes. I hope you weren’t looking for it. Lockheed came to me before you all left for Ank’Harel.”

“No, it’s a relief.” Vex’ahlia shook her head. “I wasn’t sure what had happened to it.” 

Gilmore gestured toward where Lockheed was stretched out, soaking in the heat quite happily. “As you see, we are quite well.” 

“That’s good to know.” She clasped her hands in her lap, looking awkward for a moment. “Well…” Vex hesitated. “My news may bring the mood down a bit...why don’t you go first?” 

“Glorious. Well. I wanted to speak with you...mostly to see how you’re doing. How are you, Vex’ahlia dear?”

“Oh.” Her face fell again. “Um. We’re about to fight another dragon, so I suppose…I should be excited, shouldn’t I?” Vex attempted a smile. 

“Only if killing a living thing is what makes you happy.” 

“Well, no, of course not. But these dragons...they’ve hurt so many. And this one killed Tiberius. He has to go.” 

“Agreed.” Reluctant as Gilmore was to admit it.

“Of course...battles like this are quite dangerous. There’s a chance we might die.” And here she offered a nervous smile. “So that’s a bit...nerve-wracking.” 

“All of that’s understandable, but. You were clearly still affected last night by what transpired in Glintshore.” Gilmore paused, holding space for her to come to an admission on her own. 

“Oh.” Vex’ahlia placed a hand over the bridge of her nose, partly obscuring both eyes, which she closed. It was several moments before she spoke. “I can’t...I don’t think I’ve fully processed--” Seeing the tears slipping down her cheeks, Gilmore rose and took her into his arms, just holding her while she wept. He remained quiet so she could let it all out. “It was so horrible!” Vex clung to him like a life raft. “Just seeing him there on that table, all cold! It’s like he wasn’t even Percy anymore!”

Seeing his person in distress, Trinket got up and lumbered over, grunting sadly and leaning against them with all of his weight. Perhaps it was his version of a hug. Gilmore braced himself and did his best to keep them from getting pushed over by Trinket. He stroked Vex’ahlia’s hair and scratched behind the bear’s ears.

“Shhhhhhh. It’s alright now. It’s alright,” he told her, gently. The poor thing. Why did Vox Machina not do this in front of one another? It was so unhealthy to carry around this much pent up emotion. He let Vex cry herself out, hugging her tightly until she finally calmed down, and Trinket sat his great bum down on the carpet next to them. 

Then Gilmore leaned back and carefully wiped Vex’ahlia’s face with a damp cloth before handing her a kerchief. “Thank you,” she said, hoarsely, before blowing her nose. 

Gilmore made certain she got back into her chair before resuming his own. Trinket lay down beside Vex, one big paw on the armrest of her chair. Gilmore moved closer, so that he could hold her hand, continuing to offer comfort. “I feel terrible about this,” she said, unable to meet his eyes. “I just...I feel it’s unfair for you not to know.” Vex’ahlia glanced up. “My stupid brother and Keyleth got together while we were in Marquet.” 

“Oh?” Gilmore displayed a mild interest, so she would continue.

But she glanced away again. “I caught him walking back from her room after the night we spent outside the city gate.” Vex shook her head. “I’m so sorry. I mean--I’m happy for them. I know my brother is happy, I just.” She looked up at him. “Knowing him, I doubt he told you, and it just doesn’t seem fair.” Vex’ahlia squeezed his hand. “I’m so sorry, Gilmore.”

He gave her a warm smile. “I think perhaps they have ‘gotten together’?--as you put it--for a bit longer than you may know.” 

Vex gasped. “You knew?” 

“Well.” Gilmore shrugged. “He did dump me in public because he had a crush on her, if you recall.” 

She winced. 

“Not that that stopped Vax’ildan from climbing into my bed after the fall of Emon…” Gilmore smirked. 

Vex rolled her eyes. “Of course he did.” 

“I believe the official status of our relationship is ‘it’s complicated.’ Keyleth knows about me, I know about her, and Vax’ildan is working on knowing himself.” 

“Ah. Okay.” She sat back, somewhat relieved. “My brother can be such a nincompoop, I wouldn’t have immediately thought of that. Actually...that’s very mature of him.” 

Gilmore shrugged again with an ironic smile. “He’s trying.” 

“Alright. Well, then. Alright.” Vex’ahlia gripped the arms of the chair, sitting up a little straighter. “Then. I just have one more thing to confess.” 

“Oh?” Gilmore tilted his head, noticing she was avoiding looking him in the face again. 

Her brows drew together. “You see, when you teleported us to Marquet--to Shandal, we ended up in your old--I suppose it was your old bedroom.” Vex glanced at him to make sure he was following. 

Gilmore nodded. “Yes. That’s where I was hoping it still led. To my parents’ house.” 

“Yes.” She nodded, then reached out and gripped his hand again. “Oh, your parents are just adorable! I love them. If you ever want to trade parents, just let me know.” 

That made Gilmore laugh. “They are, by all accounts, simply delightful people. I can’t deny that.” 

“Oh good.” Vex looked relieved. “I was afraid--by the way you talked about having moved away...I thought you might have had a falling out with them.” 

Gilmore shook his head. “Not at all. They were very disappointed when I left Marquet, but likely not for the reasons you might think.” 

“Oh, good, good.” She squeezed his hand again. “I’d hate to think they were--well, I’d hate to think you had a childhood where you felt alienated by your family.” 

“Not at all,” Gilmore smiled. It was far more complicated than that. Not to mention his childhood had ended centuries before Soren and Opesa had been born. 

“Alright.” Vex’ahlia nodded, looking away once more. “Well, you see...I really love you, Gilmore.” 

“As I love you, my dear.” He smiled.

“And of course my brother does, too--we all do. But we don’t know very much about you.” She bit her lip, looking apprehensive. “So...well, being there in your childhood home...I was curious.” 

“Ah.” Gilmore sat back, trying not to laugh. 

“I’m sorry to say...I looked under your bed. There were these lovely shirts there.” Vex sighed. “I suppose I went back a bit into scavenging mode from our time on the streets. I just thought...well, I wanted to see if they would fit.” 

Gilmore chuckled. “Oh, you must have found some of my old gandoras. I bet they looked amazing on you! I was about your height back then.”

“Wha--really?” She smiled, delighted.

“But of course! I wasn’t _born_ this glorious.” Gilmore offered a dazzling smile, sweeping jewel-bedecked fingers down his frame. “Though, close.” 

“Darling, I can’t even imagine!” Vex’ahlia declared. “Oh, but I felt so bad for looking through your things, I put them back where I found them.” 

“Well…” Gilmore waved a hand. “It wouldn’t be difficult to make you one of your own if you were ever interested.” 

“Really?” She clasped her hands. 

“Of course! For you, anything.” He gave her a wink. “But, honestly, you could have taken them. I’m certainly never going to be able to wear them again.” Gilmore chuckled. “Even if by some cruel twist of fate I were to waste away, they’re far too short for me now.”

“Oh. Damn. I wish I’d known that.” 

Gilmore shrugged expressively. “As I said. It’s an easy pattern to make. The embroidery is really what takes the most time.”

Vex’ahlia nodded along, and then paused, once more looking pensive. “To be honest, the shirts weren’t the only thing I found.” She reached down and buried her fingers in Trinket’s coat.

“Oh?” Gilmore tried to remember what knicknacks he might have left behind at the house in Shandal.

“Yes.” Vex clenched and unclenched her hands. “Please don’t be angry. I just--I was so curious.” 

Gilmore smiled. “Whatever you found, it can’t have been that important if I left it behind.” 

She winced. “Well...you see, under your bed with the shirts--the gandoras--there was this box of letters…”

 _Letters? Ah, yes. Those._ Well, it wasn’t as though Vex’ahlia would have been able to read them… “As I said--” Gilmore began.

“They were in Draconic, though.” A crease formed on her brow. _“I didn’t know you speak Draconic,”_ she said, shockingly, in Draconic. 

Lockheed perked its head up from where it had been sleeping on the hearth, hearing a language it knew. 

This was a moment of truth. Gilmore could feel himself standing on the precipice of a very deep chasm. Just one small truth, and he could find himself falling forever. _“It is a reliable way to maintain privacy--usually,”_ he replied to her in Draconic.

“I--I really only glanced at them,” Vex said in a rush. “I felt so bad, afterwards. Gilmore, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to poke into your private business.” 

He smirked, sitting back. “Yes you did.”

Her eyes widened. “Well, not THAT private!” 

Gilmore chuckled. “Well, those letters are from a very long time ago. I suppose it doesn’t really matter that much anymore. But I hope you learned your lesson!” Gilmore wagged his finger at her.

“Oh yes! I certainly did.” Vex’ahlia nodded. “I hope you’re not angry with me.” 

“Angry with you?” Gilmore was still smiling. “Why on earth would I be angry with you? I was the one who sent you there, after all.”

Her shoulders sagged with relief. “Oh, thank goodness. I was so afraid I’d betrayed your trust.” 

“Well.” Gilmore’s smile sharpened. “That depends. Did you tell anyone what you found?” 

“Oh, no, of course not!” Vex assured him. 

“Well then.” Gilmore waved a hand to show it was water under the bridge. “My trust is maintained. And, honestly, my dear. If there’s anything you wish to know about me, you do realize you can just ask? I’m right here, always.” 

She looked at him, thoughtful, for a moment, and Gilmore knew he was in for something. “Well, in that case…” Vex’ahlia licked her lips. “How long was the emperor in love with you?” 

Gilmore froze, resisting the urge to clutch his chest, though he felt like he’d just been shot with Bad News. 

Trinket’s head rose above the armrest to witness his distress. “There were so many letters…” she continued.

Gilmore felt like he couldn’t quite catch his breath. “What makes you think they were from the emperor?” he asked smoothly, barely covering his panic.

“Well.” She gestured as if it were obvious. “The letters were in Draconic.” 

Gilmore stared at her, refusing to believe that this was happening.

“You did know the emperor is really a dragon, didn’t you?” Vex asked. “Have I revealed some state secret?” 

“What--” Gilmore felt like he might be having a heart attack. “They--how?”

“Oh dear. Would you like some water?” She stood up, looking worried, and Trinket wandered over to sniff him, curiously. 

“No, no I’m fine.” Gilmore swallowed with difficulty. “Who else knows?”

“What, that J’mon’s a dragon? Well, all of us. He--they revealed themselves to us when we asked for aid.”

Gilmore raised a shaking hand to his forehead _. Such a peacock!_ How bored must they have been to do such a reckless thing? 99% of the city didn’t even know J’mon was Devo’ssa. 

“Don’t worry.” Vex’ahlia came close and placed a hand on his shoulder. “We won’t tell anyone--I mean. Except you. But, darling, I thought you knew.” 

“This is all very shocking,” Gilmore said, because frankly, it was. He had not expected anything like this today. If he had, he might have stayed in bed. 

“I’m sorry!” She threw her arms around him. “I promise I won’t ask you any more personal questions. And your secret is safe with me.”

“ _My_ secret?” Was that his heart hammering in his throat?

“I’m sure you had your reasons for leaving. I imagine being wooed by an emperor can be overwhelming, much less a dragon emperor.” She smiled, her eyes dreamy. 

Gilmore was speechless. 

“He really was beautiful, though,” Vex’ahlia said, wistful. “It’ll be nice having a dragon on our side for once!” 

“Yes,” Gilmore offered weakly. “Won’t it.” 

Sensing things were still not quite right, Vex’ahlia hugged him again. “You know...I should really find Zahra and see if she’s had time to make another one of those dragon arrows,” she said to herself. 

Gilmore shuddered. Luckily, she’d let him go by then. Vex did give him a look, though. “Are you alright?”

He shook his head. 

"I know, it all seems to be moving so fast, but it doesn’t look like we have a choice.” She kissed him on the cheek. “Speaking of which, I’d better go find my brother and Keyleth…”

Vex began to step away, but Gilmore caught her arm. “Things are getting dire, my dear. You should really have a talk with Percival. Tell him how you feel.”

“Oh.” And suddenly she was awkward again. “I know you’re right, I just…” Vex nodded, wringing her hands. “I just have to work up the courage, I think.” 

“Don’t wait,” he told her. 

“I know.” She nodded. “And thank you.” She gave Gilmore one last hug, and then ran from the room, blowing him a kiss before she disappeared. Trinket followed behind her more slowly.

Gilmore sagged back in his chair, feeling like he’d just fought a boxing match and lost. Lockheed fluttered over to check on him, landing on Gilmore’s cheek and nibbling his beard. There was just one more big piece of the puzzle left undiscovered. And it worried him that Vex’ahlia was smart enough to work out what it was. Fortunately for him, she was distracted with the end of the world, too.


End file.
